Funeral arrangements

I am in the middle of a most unfortunate task: arranging my mother's funeral. My father assured me that there would be very few guests but he hadn't reckoned on my mother's side of the family who only see each other en masse every decade or so at a funeral and who are arriving in droves from all over the country. He had also underestimated the enthusiasm of his former colleagues, octogenarian/nonagenarian ex-fighter pilots, Oxbridge, faithful Government servants, whose wives are all to unwell to attend, who are really looking forward to an old boys' reunion. The only widower amongst them has asked if he can bring his new girlfriend. We didn't ask her age...