Marry in haste...
The Quivering Ferret invited me for lunch. We were remembering the second wedding of our old colleague, The Quarter Pounder, which was a black tie evening affair in the Plaza Hotel, New York. A group of us had flown over from London and sat at the back. The Quarter Pounder, was standing at the front, gaunt and pale. It was only nine months after his divorce and his flight to the USA so we hadn’t seen him for some time. The bride entered in a full meringue dress, followed by the page and bridesmaid, her children from her first marriage. Somebody muttered that she was rather a large lady and another whispered that she was six months pregnant. The minister recited some Indian poetry before going on to the vows. “Do you, Anna, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?” The bride burst out laughing and said, “I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?” They were divorced a year later.
posted by Whispering Walls at 9:27 am
8 Comments:
So when are you marrying again ?
Or is it a case of once bitten..?
When's the next leap year and do you know anybody suitable?
Hmm...I understand that George Clooney is 'back on the market', but he has always said that he isn't going to get married - well, at least he's honest.
Hugh Grant - well, I never know if he is single or engaged, apart from the 'Hugh Grunt' jokes in the Eye. Still I'm sure you could ask him...
I have no idea who 'Orlando Bloom' is, but with a name that silly I am sure you could rule him out fairly quickly.
However Raymond Blanc would be much more up your street I think. Very polite, French, suave, and can do a bit of cooking as well, my sources tell me.. May be a little old for you at 53, but hey, who's counting?
Jenson Button is 'available' but I presume that he lacks the appeal which James Hunt had in his day.
And although I suspect you're not a 'Barry Sheene' type, his kind does not seem to be available in these more 'politically correct' times.
I understand that most of the members of the Welsh Rugby team have a 'WAG' as they appear to be called these days. However KingLear may be able to advise whether this is also the case for the Scottish team...
Does the Quarter Pounder refer to his anatomy? But a serious point - I object to the wedding presents that get left with the other side - especially when the second weddding comes round and they try to hit me for another donation. Nada.
Hmm..appears that we have precisely 11 months to get you fixed up with someone - although with the jolly exciting life you lead I'm not yet convinced that you need someone who will cramp your style & calendar.
Maybe what you need is to re-brand 'spinster' with the same cachet of free-spirited independence the word 'bachelor' has. Or to the male equivalent of a 'harem'.
A lady DJ had the title 'spinderella'[because she spins the records],so if it wasn't for the dratted copyright laws, it would be quite a funky name for single young women.
'Spinderella, you shall go to the ball/races/dance/tennis/opera '*
*-Delete as appropriate..
Love the post and the term "meringue dress".
Our mutual Welsh anon friend thinks you should be introduced to the concept of the 'emergency husband' - he's at http://mutteringsandmeanderings.blogspot.com/2007/03/spinstering-along.html
Not really relevant to the discussion, but in Wales a group of women can be referred to as the 'chwiorydd' [sisters] or the 'gwragedd' [literally wives] even if they are not sisters/married. So that avoids the silly 'WAG' acronym.
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