Seven cygnets swimming

These long evenings are perfect for walking along the water meadows in Winchester. On my way out on Monday I saw a swan sitting on its nest and on my way back I saw the same swan with its mate and seven fluffy cygnets swimming along happily, the cygnets ducking their heads down into the water to feast on the delicacies provided on the table of weeds below. Meanwhile a duck was sitting on the swan's nest and enjoying the spectacle.

Bad joke of the day

A senior citizen bought a brand new BMW Z4 convertible and drove it out of the salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman and replied,
"Years ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman.

To the moon and back

If you have £150m to spare, you could consider keeping it aside for a trip around the moon with Excalibur Almaz, a company based in the Isle of Man. In 2015 they will be ready to take you on a private tour of space in their second-hand Soviet spacecraft. (You may have to travel further than the Isle of Man for the launch and you'll have to undergo six months' training in California first.) 
The Russian astronaut Valery Tokarev,who is a consultant to Excalibur, says, "Everyone has to remember that space is aggressive, it is not our mother planet. If you make a mistake in space, it will kill you."

Quotation of the day

"You missed the wedding...why go to the funeral?"

Richard Hannon when punters were scrabbling to back another of his horses after he'd already had a winner at Salisbury yesterday.

Punctuation

The Leveson inquiry continues to be the best comedy of the year. Look at this text message from Rebekah Brooks to David Cameron:

But seriously I do understand the issue with the Times. Let's discuss over country supper soon. On the party it was because I had asked a number of NI people to Manchester post endorsement and they were disappointed not to see you. But as always Sam was wonderful (and I thought it was OE's were charm personfied!) I am so rooting for you tomorrow not just as a proud friend but because professionally we're definitely in this together! Speech of your life? Yes he Cam

Obviously written in a hurry but even so, this is written by an ertswhile editor of a national newspaper... an apostrophe in OEs makes me wince!

Real ale

We went out for lunch at The Greyhound in Stockbridge yesterday. When we got home, my father had a snooze during the Italy-Spain match. I took him a cup of tea later.
"I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go!" he exclaimed.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I thought we were going out for lunch today? Did you go out without me?"
"We went over to Stockbridge: don't you remember driving through the wet fields? We sat in the corner near the large fireplace. You had fish and then ginger cake and ice cream for pudding."
"Really? I don't remember any of that!"
"You kept saying how foggy it was," (In fact the window looked out onto the wall of the next door building.), "and the man on the next door table asked you if your tie was London Scottish." (No!)
"I have absolutely no recollection of that!"
"You had half a pint of ale."

His face brightened, "Oh yes! I do remember that!"

Chinese CDOs

Today's FT reports that CDOs (collateralised debt obligations) are appearing in China. Three companies in Jiangsu province: Changzhou Shende Seamless Tube, Changzhou Dongfeng Agricultural Machinery and Xinhua Chang Group have joined together to issue Rmb260m joint three year debt. The credit ratings of the three companies are BBB, BBB+ and A- but the joint bonds are rated AAA because they are supported by the local government. Caveat emptor...

When I'm 64...

 

The diamond of the Jubilee?

The Queen's photo of the day

Happy Diamond Jubilee!