Thursday, March 28, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
"My darling, I have some news for you: you are now a WOAL!" announced my husband.
"A vole?" I replied, thinking he'd developed some sort of Sam Weller speech impediment.
No, he definitely meant WOAL. His new club allows members' WOALs to have afternoon tea with up to three guests.
What is a WOAL?
A wife or other applicable lady. I don't like the sound of it!
Friday, March 22, 2013
Cartoon of the day
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Jerusalem slays The Beast
President Obama's armour plated Cadillac, known as The Beast, ground to a halt in Jerusalem yesterday, not because of terrorism, nor traffic jams, nor, as far as we know, an act of God. This specimen of first class engineering by General Motors sputtered to a halt because some bright spark had filled it with diesel!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Nightmare of the day
Last night I dreamed that I was part of a team of four spies visiting a foreign inteliigence HQ. We were given badges at the entrance. However, there was no badge with my name on, only one with the name Diana. Diana was one of our chief spies and I took the badge reluctantly as I was worried I'd be an assassination target carrying her ID. After we entered the building, the lights went off. I couldn't see where the others had gone. I had to feel my way around and there was very little air so I could hardly breathe. At one point I was cocooned in a tunnel of soft material at a 45 degree angle, pushed in from all sides, barely able to move forward and desperate for oxygen. At last there was a blast of fresh air and a flash of light. I was in a bedroom which had a staircase going up from it. I saw a dead body on the bed and a man running up the stairs ahead. I ran upstairs behind him and the light went out again. In the dark at the top of the stairs there was an illuminated sign: "Unit for causing Psychological Breakdown". I wept and then woke up (not weeping!).
Memo to self: don't eat mozzarella late at night!
Friday, March 15, 2013
Bad joke of the day
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sporting hero of the week
Nick Compton, grandson of the late and great Denis Compton, scored his maiden century for England against New Zealand, aged 29. It is perhaps mean to compare him to his grandfather. Denis Compton first played for England when he was 20 and when he was 29, in 1947, he scored 18 centuries for England. Come on Nick: another 17 centuries this year please!
Friday, March 08, 2013
"Well you see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest at the back which are killed first. This natural selection is good for the whole herd as its overall speed and health improves. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive alcohol kills brain cells, but, naturally, it kills the slowest and weakest first. In this way, regular consumption of beer kills the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster, more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a couple of beers."
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Monday, March 04, 2013
I made a lemon and blueberry cake for a birthday party on Saturday. The ground almonds made it beautifully moist. Here's the recipe (from Ottolenghi):
280g unsalted butter
65g plain flour
280g ground almonds
280g caster sugar
Grated zest of 2 lemons
100ml lemon juice
Icing: 50ml lemon juice & 150g icing sugat
Preheat oven to 170C. Butter cake tin.
Mix flour & ground almonds and set aside.
Cream butter and sugar until white and fluffy.
Beat eggs and gradually add to the butter and sugar mixture, adding some of the flour mixture if it starts to separate.
Gently fold in the flour and almond mixture, followed by the lemon zest, juice and blueberries, making sure the blueberries stay whole.
Pour into the cake tin and bake for 35-40 minutes, until a skewer comes out clean.
Cool completely on a rack.
to make the glaze, whisk together the icing sugar and lemon juice and drizzle it over the cake.