One liners of the day

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Change is inevitable...except from vending machines.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it's the scenic route.

Steven Wright