Photo of the day

Sporting heroes of the day

Five cheers for Louis Smith, Max Whitlock, Daniel Purvis, Sam Oldham and Kristian Thomas for their bronze medal in gymnastics, the first we've won in that sport for a century. They'd won bronze, they were upgraded to silver after a Japanese contestant fell off the horse, the Japanese complained and Team GB was downgraded to bronze again whilst Japan leapt from 4th to 2nd place with no explanation given to the BBC audience. Oh well, a medal's a medal.

Sporting heroines of the weekend

Lizzie Armitstead won the silver medal in the women's road race.

Rebecca Adlington won the bronze medal in the 400m freestyle swimming.

As for that Opening Ceremony...amazing scenery and choreography. I didn't see any live animals or the cottage with the smoking chimney. Not convinced about the NHS feature. Children's literature could have been better portrayed. Arctic Monkeys: why? Grime Rap: not my bag. Loved the filmed parts: the countdown, the Queen and James Bond and Mr Bean. What did you think?

Bad joke of the day

A male model was driving to San Diego. With 100 miles to go, he was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. "Are you going to San Diego?" the man asked.
"Sure," answered the model, "Do you need a lift?"
"Not for me," said the man. "I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," replied the model. The chimpanzees were strapped into the back of the model's car and off they went.
Five hours later the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when, to his horror, he saw the model walking down the street holding the hands of the two chimpanzees, much to the amusement of a large crowd. With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded. "I gave you $100 to take the chimps to the zoo."

"Yes I know you did," said the model, "but we had money left over so we're now going to Sea World."

Sporting heroine of the day

Hurrah for Stephanie Houghton whose winning goal took the GB women's football team through to the next round!

Oh frabjous day!

Reports are coming through that the Lighthouse of Hope in North Korea has married Comrade Ri Sol-ju who may or may not be a well-known singer. Many congratulations to the Dear Leader.

Sporting hero of the week

We need somebody to cheer pre-Olympics...

Off for more rain, probably

Back 25 July.

Letter of the day

Sir,
In response to the Lernerian assertion that the public debt doesn't matter because "we owe it to ourselves", the late Murray Rothbard observed that it makes "an enormous amount of difference whether one is a member of  'we'  or of the 'ourselves' ".
David Chaplin
Cape Town

Today's FT

Brain teaser of the day

7H15 M3554G3

53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.

English summer

Here's a photo of the flood near my colleague's house in Dorset yesterday

Office dress code

Dear all,

Summer is actually coming to the UK soon….or so I have heard.
Well, although I do love summer, it is time to remind you a little bit about the company’s dress code.

1. Underwear is to be worn UNDER clothes – keep them hidden
2. See through tops – after six and out of the office premises
3. Shorts/mini-skirts/hot pants – Only allowed if you are under 16 years old
4. Flip flops – the havaianas ones or beach wear (rubber ones) are against health and safety policy
5. Vest tops – Sorry…too many cardiac arrests last night…it was a NHS request
Friday dress downs – Please apply the same principal with your jeans, trainers and t-shirts. Ensure your jeans – if ripped – does not show too much flesh.
Operations Manager

Cartoon of the day

"I was lucky - St Peter had no idea what a LIBOR submitter is!"

Roger Beale in today's FT

RIP Eric Sykes

Bad joke of the day: An older man goes into the pub, looking sad. A woman asks him if he’s okay. “I’m worried about my hearing” he says. She says” I’m a faith healer, let me help” She cups her hands over his ears and prays. The she says “Are you still worried about your hearing?” He says “Yes. It’s next Tuesday.”

Nonagenarian of the day

My 91 year old aunt went to the hospital for her pre-cataract operation assessment.
"What medication are you on?" asked the doctor.
"None. I bet you haven't heard that reply today!" she said.
"I haven't heard that reply for two years!" the doctor exclaimed.